1 00:00:09,290 --> 00:00:10,290 Wow, 2 00:00:11,270 --> 00:00:13,370 that was quite a night. 3 00:00:13,570 --> 00:00:14,570 So you had fun? 4 00:00:14,650 --> 00:00:18,550 Oh, the flowers, the dinner, the concert at the Hollywood Bowl. How did you know 5 00:00:18,550 --> 00:00:19,389 I loved the Eagles? 6 00:00:19,390 --> 00:00:21,850 Well, you mentioned it on our first date, so that night. 7 00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:24,310 Actually, the next two nights I camped out for tickets. 8 00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:26,810 You didn't have to do that. 9 00:00:27,410 --> 00:00:28,650 Anything to see that smile. 10 00:00:32,379 --> 00:00:34,000 Thanks for a terrific night. 11 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,200 Oh, thank you. 12 00:00:35,460 --> 00:00:36,460 There it is again. 13 00:00:46,660 --> 00:00:47,660 I'll call. 14 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:52,660 I'm in hell. 15 00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:55,000 So, you like him? 16 00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:56,380 Oh, it was horrible. 17 00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:00,600 He took me to this beautiful restaurant, this wonderful concert, and he likes 18 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,260 everything about me. Everything I do, everything I say, everything I wear. 19 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:05,760 He's so nice. 20 00:01:06,180 --> 00:01:08,560 Get out now while you still have some self -respect. 21 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,200 He's too nice. 22 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,840 You haven't even met him. No. 23 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,240 Opens doors for you? Every one of them. 24 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,440 Compliments you incessantly? Did you know that I had beautiful lobes? 25 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,920 Calls you every chance you get? 26 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,160 I've met him, I've dated him, I've dumped him. 27 00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:30,210 Hello. Hi, Greg. 28 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:33,190 You like the way I answer the phone, do you? 29 00:01:35,030 --> 00:01:36,030 Kind of straightforward. 30 00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:37,350 Hello. 31 00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:39,430 Kind of a classic. 32 00:01:40,510 --> 00:01:41,510 Lunch tomorrow? 33 00:01:42,890 --> 00:01:44,410 Sure. Yeah, I'll see you then. 34 00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:45,930 Night -night. 35 00:01:48,510 --> 00:01:49,510 Like you, too. 36 00:01:52,030 --> 00:01:53,030 He's got to go. 37 00:01:54,470 --> 00:01:56,830 Don't sweat it, Ellen. The nice ones always understand. 38 00:01:57,310 --> 00:01:58,068 That's true. 39 00:01:58,070 --> 00:01:59,210 I always understand. 40 00:01:59,950 --> 00:02:02,630 You better get out quick before he hits you with a Christmas present. 41 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:05,970 Oh, that's true. How much time would I have to give him? Well, that depends. 42 00:02:06,590 --> 00:02:08,130 Something pathetic that he made himself? 43 00:02:08,470 --> 00:02:09,470 Three to five days. 44 00:02:09,949 --> 00:02:12,510 A nice piece of jewelry? A week, too, if it's diamonds. 45 00:02:13,150 --> 00:02:15,670 My Corvette cost me the entire month of January. 46 00:02:18,150 --> 00:02:19,710 You slave to etiquette, you. 47 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,700 Here, let me wrap these for you. This is my first day. 48 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,660 So, who are these books for? 49 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,500 They're for my eight -year -old niece. 50 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,840 Yeah? I remember being eight and getting books for Christmas. 51 00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:37,340 Hated it. 52 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:41,800 I wanted an easy -baked oven. But no, Aunt Alberta had to give me little 53 00:02:42,140 --> 00:02:46,400 Yeah, my friends thought I was so cool with my new book. What a great 54 00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,500 So, ribbon, red or green? 55 00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:52,140 Okay, come again. 56 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,259 Merry Christmas. 57 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:56,260 Question. Did you ask Stephanie if she had any experience? 58 00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:57,860 Well, sure I did. 59 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,020 And? She had none. 60 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:04,560 But she was very enthusiastic, and she said this funny thing. There was this 61 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,300 guy, and he had a really wrinkled shirt on, and he's walking out, and she's 62 00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:12,020 like, Seattle's that way, you know, because of the whole grunge. It was just 63 00:03:12,020 --> 00:03:13,020 funny. 64 00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:17,900 You're right, Ellen. She's very funny. As a matter of fact, she calls me Slim. 65 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:19,740 Get it? It's ironic. 66 00:03:22,190 --> 00:03:25,950 Come on, she's just being playful. And as far as the job goes, she'll get the 67 00:03:25,950 --> 00:03:29,150 hang of it. You know, I just need to work with her. Oh, like you worked with 68 00:03:29,450 --> 00:03:31,610 I run wild around this place and you do nothing. 69 00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:35,490 I'm looking for a cookbook for my daughter. 70 00:03:35,850 --> 00:03:36,689 That's nice. 71 00:03:36,690 --> 00:03:38,090 I'm walking over there to get some coffee. 72 00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:43,910 Stephanie? Hey, boss. 73 00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:45,950 Liking the job? Oh, good. 74 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:49,470 You know, I think that that customer needed some help finding a book. 75 00:03:49,870 --> 00:03:50,990 Yeah, what was that all about? 76 00:03:53,110 --> 00:03:56,470 That happens a lot. People will come in, and then they'll ask for help, and 77 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,950 that's when you step in and give it to them. 78 00:04:00,350 --> 00:04:01,350 Right, right. 79 00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:02,690 Got it. 80 00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:08,930 Now? 81 00:04:09,270 --> 00:04:10,270 Why not? 82 00:04:10,470 --> 00:04:13,270 Oh, all right. I'm all over it. Okay. Yoo -hoo! 83 00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:14,770 Cookbook lady! 84 00:04:18,089 --> 00:04:20,490 I can't have lunch. Greg's coming by. I'm ending it today. 85 00:04:20,709 --> 00:04:24,370 Oh, that's okay. I have some Christmas shopping to do. This is the year that I 86 00:04:24,370 --> 00:04:26,330 get my mother a gift that does not make her cry. 87 00:04:26,790 --> 00:04:30,130 Paige, have you ever gotten your mother any gift that didn't offend her? Nope. 88 00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:34,090 Ever since she and my dad split up, everything has some hidden meaning with 89 00:04:34,210 --> 00:04:36,770 Like, if I get her a pair of gloves, I'm saying she has ugly hands. 90 00:04:36,970 --> 00:04:39,530 If I get her a microwave, I'm saying she can't cook. 91 00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:45,130 So get her some innocuous gift like a scarf or a belt or a turkey baster. 92 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,210 Oh, yeah, I can hear it now. 93 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:51,160 Thank you, Paige, for the lovely turkey baster. And then it's another Christmas 94 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,600 spent trying to coax Mom out of the hall closet. 95 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:58,680 This year, I'm getting her an impersonal, stupid, meaningless gift. 96 00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:00,620 Like a book. 97 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:03,720 Oh, here's Greg. 98 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,220 Merry Christmas. 99 00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:07,300 You shop. Don't watch. This won't be pretty. 100 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,040 Ellen, how are you? 101 00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:11,740 Missed you. 102 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,000 Missed you. 103 00:05:15,420 --> 00:05:16,960 So, ready for lunch? 104 00:05:17,270 --> 00:05:22,630 Uh, not quite. Um, can we just sit down just for a minute? Because, um, I just, 105 00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:26,430 I really want to talk to you about something. Oh, sure, but before you 106 00:05:26,450 --> 00:05:28,410 ho, ho, Santa's brought something for you. 107 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:29,850 I couldn't wait. 108 00:05:30,650 --> 00:05:31,690 Merry Christmas, Ellen. 109 00:05:32,590 --> 00:05:33,590 It's jewelry. 110 00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:35,950 I can't accept this. 111 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:39,310 Oh, I know it's still nine days until Christmas, but I couldn't wait. 112 00:05:39,810 --> 00:05:40,810 Read the inscription. 113 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,120 My dearest Ellen, Merry Christmas. 114 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:49,680 May this be the first of many to come. 115 00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:51,140 Greg. 116 00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:54,200 They got a lot on there, didn't they? 117 00:05:56,260 --> 00:05:57,260 And look. 118 00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:59,280 A diamond. 119 00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:01,780 That's your birthstone. 120 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,700 I know. How did you find out my birthstone? 121 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:05,920 I called your mom. 122 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:08,420 What a wonderful woman. We talked for an hour. 123 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,320 I hope you like it. 124 00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:12,740 I do. I do. 125 00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:17,420 I do. As a matter of fact, I got you something, too. 126 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:19,660 I couldn't wait. 127 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:25,900 A thesaurus! 128 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,720 Well, I know how much you like words. 129 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,040 You know, you always use them and stuff. 130 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:40,400 I have never been so happy, glad, cheerful, fulfilled, merry. 131 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:42,760 Merry Christmas. 132 00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:45,460 So, lunch? 133 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,000 I'll get my coat. 134 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,200 Yeah, you're right. 135 00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:51,940 That was not pretty. 136 00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,600 Hey. Hey. 137 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:00,880 You want to go out tonight? 138 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,900 No, Greg's coming over in a half an hour for a gentle breakup. 139 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:08,080 Bad idea. I take it from a nice guy who's had a share of rejection, a gentle 140 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,140 breakup's a turn -on. 141 00:07:09,550 --> 00:07:11,110 Now, it's an invitation to obsession. 142 00:07:12,070 --> 00:07:13,070 What do you mean? 143 00:07:13,490 --> 00:07:14,850 Well, what are you going to say to him? 144 00:07:15,570 --> 00:07:17,510 Uh, Greg, I just don't think we're compatible. 145 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:18,770 Well, change! 146 00:07:19,470 --> 00:07:22,370 I don't think we have anything in common. Well, I can be more like you. 147 00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:26,190 Well, I guess I just don't see a future in us. 148 00:07:26,450 --> 00:07:29,170 But I can't live without you, Helen. I won't live without you. 149 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:33,130 I don't think Greg would say that. Greg? Who's Greg? I'll kill him, you're mine! 150 00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:37,530 I'm sorry. 151 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:43,200 Okay, so how should I do it? Well, you know, the problem is you're just so 152 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,620 desirable. Oh, ain't that the truth? 153 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,000 But, I mean, how can I make myself less desirable? 154 00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:52,900 How do you do it? 155 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:57,760 Look, 156 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,260 the thing you want to do is just be unpleasant, you know? Drive them away. 157 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:04,660 Tell them that you hate sunsets and children and kittens. 158 00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:06,200 But I love those things. 159 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,200 Well, that's what I love about you, Ellen. 160 00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:13,150 I'm not going to let it get to that. When he comes in here, I'm not going to 161 00:08:13,150 --> 00:08:15,790 him say a thing. The first words out of his mouth are going to be, but why? 162 00:08:17,870 --> 00:08:19,310 Poor, pathetic guy. 163 00:08:20,770 --> 00:08:24,210 Well, Saturday night, I've got to get to the video store. This time, they'd 164 00:08:24,210 --> 00:08:25,210 better have my cousin, Benny. 165 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:34,809 Greg, I... I like you. I do. It's just that I don't think things are going to 166 00:08:34,809 --> 00:08:35,909 work out between us. 167 00:08:36,169 --> 00:08:39,370 I mean, you can understand that. Sometimes things work out, and sometimes 168 00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:40,370 don't, and... 169 00:08:44,210 --> 00:08:45,210 Oh, 170 00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:52,450 my God. 171 00:08:52,630 --> 00:08:53,970 You even brushed your teeth, cute. 172 00:08:56,090 --> 00:08:57,090 I'm sorry I'm early. 173 00:08:57,230 --> 00:08:58,850 Ellen, I'm so glad we're together tonight. 174 00:08:59,070 --> 00:09:02,070 There's something I wanted to say, and I just can't hold it in any longer. It's 175 00:09:02,070 --> 00:09:03,250 just busting to get out of me. 176 00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:05,010 I love you. 177 00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:09,730 But why? 178 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:17,480 Why do I love you? 179 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:19,900 Because you're you, damn it. 180 00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:24,580 You are the most loving, warm, generous person I know. 181 00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:29,840 Now, Ellen, Ellen, I don't want you to say it just because I said it. I want 182 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,780 to wait until the time is right for you. 183 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,860 In fact, I insist you not say it now. 184 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:35,920 Okay. 185 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,540 That rule doesn't apply to me. 186 00:09:39,220 --> 00:09:40,280 I love you. 187 00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:41,860 I love you. 188 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,200 I love you. 189 00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:47,010 I just want to say it to the world. No, that's not necessary, is it? 190 00:09:49,230 --> 00:09:51,870 I love Ellen Inez Morgan. 191 00:09:55,530 --> 00:09:57,270 You've been talking to my mother again, haven't you? 192 00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:06,310 Oh, oh, oh, hold it right there, sir. You haven't had one of my special 193 00:10:06,310 --> 00:10:12,090 Christmas cookies on the house. Great coffee, great service. No, great 194 00:10:12,410 --> 00:10:13,410 Thank you. 195 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:17,520 What have you done with Joe? 196 00:10:17,980 --> 00:10:20,300 What have you done with him? Where is Joe? 197 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:21,640 He's not Joe. 198 00:10:22,140 --> 00:10:24,620 Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but we're out of charge slips. 199 00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:25,940 The bottom door. 200 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:30,800 See you later, Slim. 201 00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:35,520 She calls me Slim. 202 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:39,400 Oh, you too. 203 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:42,380 Joe, you big lug. 204 00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:46,780 I'm happy for you. Not as happy as I am. Hiring Stephanie was the best Christmas 205 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,300 present you could have ever gotten me. 206 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,340 Oh, in that case, I'm returning your pony. 207 00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:54,860 I have to say that cheerful employees are really, really helping business. 208 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,300 This is the happy little bookstore I've always dreamed of. 209 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:02,700 Actually, in my dreams, the bookstore was chasing me and I was naked. But you 210 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:03,700 get my point. 211 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,440 Hey, so how'd it go with Greg? 212 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,100 Not good. We've never been happier. 213 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,610 Ellen, you have got to be strong with him. Drop the bomb. 214 00:11:13,870 --> 00:11:17,430 I will. I will next time I see him. Believe me, I refuse to spend Christmas 215 00:11:17,430 --> 00:11:18,470 a nice guy who loves me. 216 00:11:20,210 --> 00:11:21,210 Amen to that. 217 00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:25,150 Speaking of Christmas, I have solved the mom problem, okay? Three ways to go. 218 00:11:27,110 --> 00:11:28,110 Expensive perfume. 219 00:11:28,410 --> 00:11:30,210 Oh, so I think do I. 220 00:11:32,670 --> 00:11:33,670 Okay. 221 00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:35,070 Cordless phone. 222 00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:38,090 Why? So I can walk around while my children never call me? 223 00:11:42,830 --> 00:11:43,669 Chia pet? 224 00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:46,410 You know how sensitive I am about my back hair. 225 00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:52,870 Hey, I made that one up. 226 00:11:57,590 --> 00:11:58,650 Stop staring at her. 227 00:11:58,910 --> 00:11:59,910 I wasn't staring. 228 00:12:00,090 --> 00:12:02,950 You're practically drooling. I was looking at the lemon squares. 229 00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,270 Oh, is that your little nickname for her bosoms? 230 00:12:07,150 --> 00:12:09,250 Can I get you some espresso and more biscotti? 231 00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,670 Some espresso and more biscotti. 232 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,560 Why don't you just have sex with her? 233 00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:17,380 I was just being friendly to the customers. Yeah, right. 234 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,380 No, Stephanie, stop it. Just calm down. 235 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,700 Excuse me, do you have the bridges of Madison County? 236 00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:23,980 We sure do. 237 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,260 Just being friendly to the customers. 238 00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:34,500 I never. 239 00:12:37,020 --> 00:12:38,860 And that concludes our little play. 240 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,240 Let's pull over. 241 00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:02,440 The glitter of Christmas lights and the cool night air. 242 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,400 My heart is full. 243 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:07,680 What you thinking? 244 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:10,420 That I hate kittens? 245 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,780 What? I hate them. 246 00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:16,980 Oh, boy. I hate kittens. Sometimes I just want to smush them. 247 00:13:19,180 --> 00:13:21,000 Oh, boy, that was wrong. 248 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,000 I should have stepped in at that time. Look. 249 00:13:23,340 --> 00:13:25,640 I understand. If you want me to get out, I'll get out, because I've really 250 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:26,599 crossed the line. 251 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,600 You've crossed the line. 252 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,200 Right into my heart. 253 00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:31,380 I'm a dog person. 254 00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:35,280 You know, we have so much in common. 255 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:40,100 You know what, Greg? I've really needed to talk to you and tell you something, 256 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:44,080 but it just never seems to be the right time. I understand completely, because 257 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,040 there's something that I need to tell you, too. 258 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,060 May I? 259 00:13:48,980 --> 00:13:49,980 Sure. 260 00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:56,560 Ten years ago, just before Christmas, on a night very much like tonight, my 261 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:57,740 parents were killed in an accident. 262 00:13:59,620 --> 00:14:01,360 I haven't had a happy Christmas since. 263 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:04,840 Until now. 264 00:14:05,780 --> 00:14:09,480 I'm so glad I'll be spending Christmas with you instead of a lot of sad 265 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:10,480 memories. 266 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,860 Well, what did you want to tell me? 267 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,160 Just, um... 268 00:14:18,510 --> 00:14:21,850 Does your family like marshmallows on their sweet potatoes or not? Because I 269 00:14:21,850 --> 00:14:22,850 make them either way. 270 00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:25,210 We're marshmallow people. 271 00:14:27,670 --> 00:14:28,670 Of course you are. 272 00:14:36,470 --> 00:14:40,650 So, you're spending Christmas at Greg's brother's. With his wife, her sister, 273 00:14:40,750 --> 00:14:43,150 and their three children, each one nicer than the next. 274 00:14:43,390 --> 00:14:44,450 Somebody shoot me. 275 00:14:45,450 --> 00:14:48,410 But I promise I will be Greg -less before the dawn of the new year. 276 00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:50,910 Well, good luck. I'm off to Mom's for the weekend. 277 00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:52,550 Suitcase for each day? 278 00:14:53,490 --> 00:14:55,930 Clothes are in here. These two are filled with gifts. 279 00:14:56,250 --> 00:14:59,530 Something in here will show that bitter old saw sound how much I care. 280 00:15:01,110 --> 00:15:02,570 Well, have a holly jolly. 281 00:15:06,590 --> 00:15:11,570 Hi. I came back for another one of your great free Christmas cookies. 282 00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:13,970 Oh, you did, did you? 283 00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:19,700 Well, that's just how I make my living, serving free cookies to deadbeats like 284 00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:23,400 you. Tell you what, why don't you just reach in my back pocket, take my wallet, 285 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,660 and rob me? Better yet, take my girlfriend. She's right over there. You 286 00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:28,020 should be very happy together. 287 00:15:28,860 --> 00:15:31,740 I can only order some candy canes. Have a candy cane. Have two candy canes. 288 00:15:31,860 --> 00:15:34,240 Goodbye. Can you get it down, coffee monkey? 289 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,260 Here's your free cookie. 290 00:15:44,650 --> 00:15:46,230 Come here, come here. Sit down. Both of you, sit down. 291 00:15:52,050 --> 00:15:55,470 I can't tell you how sad it makes me feel to see you two act this way. 292 00:15:55,890 --> 00:15:58,950 Joe, you told me Stephanie was the best Christmas gift that you ever got. And 293 00:15:58,950 --> 00:16:01,310 Stephanie, you told me that Joe was your Slimmy Jimmy Jimbo. 294 00:16:03,610 --> 00:16:05,830 I don't know what that means, but I'm assuming it's good. 295 00:16:08,030 --> 00:16:10,870 Christmas is not about selling coffee or books. 296 00:16:11,790 --> 00:16:12,790 Christmas is about... 297 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:17,050 Setting aside our differences and coming together with loved ones. 298 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:23,670 Well, I guess there's no way really to make my point without going back to the 299 00:16:23,670 --> 00:16:24,670 very, very beginning. 300 00:16:25,270 --> 00:16:29,530 2 ,000 years ago, a babe was born in a manger. 301 00:16:30,450 --> 00:16:32,750 And three wise men came on to him. 302 00:16:33,030 --> 00:16:34,370 Well, they didn't come on to him. 303 00:16:36,510 --> 00:16:41,190 That'd be sick. But no, they came on to him. 304 00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:47,860 Christmas my true love gave to me. 305 00:16:48,220 --> 00:16:51,280 Twelve drummers drumming. Eleven pipers piping. 306 00:16:51,580 --> 00:16:54,100 Ten lords a -leaping. Nine ladies dancing. 307 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:58,220 Eight maids a -milking. Seven swarms a -swimming. Six geese a -laying. 308 00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,660 Five golden rings. 309 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,480 Four calling birds. 310 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,040 Three French hens. Two turtle dogs. 311 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,940 And a partridge in a... 312 00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:17,079 One more time. No. 313 00:17:17,260 --> 00:17:18,260 No. 314 00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:20,500 No. Why improve on perfection? 315 00:17:20,859 --> 00:17:24,440 She's right. Besides, we have to save our voices for caroling at the hospital. 316 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,460 All right. 317 00:17:26,599 --> 00:17:32,000 You know, Ellen, this is the first time in ten years anyone has sung Five Golden 318 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,000 Rings. 319 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,480 We have to just have a moment of silence. 320 00:17:35,980 --> 00:17:37,040 What do you say, everybody? 321 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,940 Is Ellen better? Is Ellen better than Mom? Huh? 322 00:17:42,510 --> 00:17:45,670 From now on, Ellen sings Five Golden Rings. Yes. 323 00:17:46,430 --> 00:17:49,370 Well, no, I'm not really part of the family. 324 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,070 Not yet. 325 00:17:52,050 --> 00:17:55,050 You guys, don't listen to her more. 326 00:17:55,350 --> 00:17:57,550 Hey, let's sing Deck the Halls. Yeah. 327 00:17:58,050 --> 00:18:01,790 Ellen, Ellen, why don't you do Fa La La La La? 328 00:18:02,090 --> 00:18:03,089 Oh, I don't know. 329 00:18:03,090 --> 00:18:05,050 Oh, come on, come on, come on. Give it a try. 330 00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:08,250 Deck the halls with boughs of holly. 331 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,580 Better than Dad! 332 00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:21,360 Mom, please come out of the closet. 333 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,500 I didn't mean anything by it. 334 00:18:24,860 --> 00:18:27,700 Yeah, that's what you say every year. 335 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:30,720 It's a rice cooker. 336 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:36,720 Well, thank you for reminding me what your father left me for that 337 00:18:43,020 --> 00:18:46,660 three other gifts out here for you, Mom. I got you a thesaurus. 338 00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:49,620 Oh, so you're saying I'm stupid? 339 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,660 I guess that's why your father left me. 340 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,280 All right, then. A globe. 341 00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:59,160 Yeah, with Vietnam on it. 342 00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:02,140 How can you be so thoughtless? 343 00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:08,140 Why couldn't you just gotten me a nice turkey baster like your sister did? 344 00:19:14,030 --> 00:19:15,030 Times Square. 345 00:19:15,130 --> 00:19:19,750 I can't believe you're still with Greg. I thought you were going to break up 346 00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:22,610 with him by the end of the year. I've still got time. Well, we've got just one 347 00:19:22,610 --> 00:19:24,410 minute left in 1994. 348 00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:26,970 They had a lot of time. 349 00:19:28,310 --> 00:19:31,230 All I said was Dick Clark gets younger looking every year. 350 00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:33,950 Why don't you just have sex with him? 351 00:19:36,070 --> 00:19:37,070 Hey, 352 00:19:38,990 --> 00:19:44,110 Greg, I really, really have to talk to you. Oh, great. Let me just get some 353 00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:45,110 champagne. 354 00:19:45,670 --> 00:19:48,630 Well, Paige, hey, thanks again for the rice cooker and the globe. 355 00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:51,390 My pleasure. 356 00:19:51,850 --> 00:19:53,810 So, uh, are we going to kiss at midnight? 357 00:19:54,550 --> 00:19:55,650 That's right. I forgot. 358 00:19:56,610 --> 00:19:57,750 I've got to go find somebody. 359 00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:06,710 They say the one you kiss on New Year's Eve is the one you'll spend the next 360 00:20:06,710 --> 00:20:09,310 year with. I hope it comes true. Here we go. 361 00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:11,450 Craig, 362 00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:15,190 this is my fault. I've let this go on far too long, but I can't see you 363 00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:18,090 I don't love you. I can't hear you. I don't love you. 364 00:20:18,310 --> 00:20:19,530 I love you, too. 365 00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:23,250 Craig, 366 00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:36,610 I really, really, really, really, really have to talk to you. 367 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:42,240 We have a lifetime to talk, dear. Just say, I do, and our dream begins. 368 00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:47,040 No, no, but I really, really have to talk to you. I do. I do, too. 369 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:48,440 I now pronounce you man and wife. 370 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,620 Thank God it's not till tomorrow. 371 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,620 Still have 12 more hours to tell him.